It is doubtful that many people have ever heard of Paris Hilton, none of our reporters nor has anyone in our much vaunted research department has heard of Ms. Hilton. When both Las Vegas Weekly and The Las Vegas Review Journal ran long heavily researched articles on a recent incident involving Ms. Hilton we knew it was incumbent upon us to set our crack team of reporters on the Hilton story.
While we appreciate the efforts of upstarts like the Las Vegas Review Journal our keen reporter instincts told us to first check with some venerable old media sources before proceeding. We immediately scanned the pages of TMZ and Gawker, and found scant evidence of Ms. Hilton’s existence. Newly confident that we were not too late in our coverage of Ms. Hilton, we proceeded with newfound gusto.
Paris Hilton and Perez Hilton
Ms. Hilton is in fact an heiress of the Hilton Family fortune. Evidently the Hilton Family like the Rothschilds in Europe, have a prominent French wing of the family. In an attempt to distinguish, and perhaps brand, the French wing as separate from the American wing, Ms. Hilton was named in honor of the “City of Light”, Paris. It should be noted that some thought the naming, Paris Hilton, was suspiciously similar to the name of prominent columnist Perez Hilton. It has been reported that Perez Hilton does not feel put upon, that the Hilton Family chose to name their daughter with such a similar sounding name.
After arriving in the States, Paris Hilton was rapidly establishing herself a a noted thespian, often mentioned as the next Meryl Streep, when an innocent video tape, of Ms Hilton and her boyfriend, was leaked to the public and scandalously derailed her career. Ms. Hilton then came to Las Vegas to open the eponymously named Paris Hotel and Casino.
Paris Opens Paris Las Vegas
The opening of Paris Las Vegas created tension between the American and French factions of the Hilton Family, as the American side of the family had to settle for an Off-Strip property, while Paris Las Vegas is located on a prime Strip location. Adding further insult to injury, Paris was able to woo away her favorite pop-singer, Barry Manilow, to the Paris Strip location just this year. Paris Hotel & Casino has a very low internet profile, as this is the only website we could find for Paris Hotel & Casino
It is said that Steve Wynn got the idea for the naming of his casino, from Paris. His initial thought of naming the casino “Steve” was changed after extensive market research and focus group testing. This brings us to the latest Paris news.
Paris Hotboxing on the Strip
The Las Vegas Review Journal and Associated Press report that:
Smoke emanating from a Cadillac Escalade on the Las Vegas Strip, which smelled like marijuana, and had as a passenger Paris Hilton, and was driven by Las Vegas nightclub mogul Cy Waits, who manages a club inside the Wynn Las Vegas, was stopped by Las Vegas Police
It was further reported:
Wynn Resorts Ltd. spokeswoman Jennifer Dunne told The Associated Press that Hilton is barred from Wynn Las Vegas and Encore.
Meanwhile, boyfriend Cy Waits was “separated” from his job after less than a week as top managing partner of the Tryst Nightclub at Wynn and XS The Nightclub at Encore, Dunne said in a statement.
The reclusive Paris Hilton, who is notoriously camera shy was forced to pose for a mug shot. This is perhaps the only known photograph extant of the heiress.
Wynn Bans Paris
We are of course left to wonder, did Steve Wynn bar Ms. Hilton because of said incident, or was it due to lingering jealousy over Paris Hilton being the first person to have a Strip property named after her. Further details will be published as they are uncovered.
Vegas Whats Up would like to give special recognition to our research department for all their hard work in scrupulously fact checking this article.